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. not because I was unbalanced or anything like that,but because in listening to my friends talk, I had realized I was sodifferent... if not a freak... then at least one-in-a-million. I constantly desired men. Men desired me. It seemed so simple andsatisfying... that is, we could satisfy each other. Instinctively I knewmy husband would never understand. Nevertheless, I continued to beobsessed with sensual, sexual living. Some sex was never enough, neither was a lot. I was always. “It pains me to leave your side but I cannot stay here. I cannot take the whispers and glares and I cannot take mother and father constantly badgering me. There is so much animosity I can take from my own family--” Raanciel took a sharp intake of breath. He felt tears welling in his eyes. “--before I completely break -- it is getting to be too much...”Raanciel started when he felt his brother’s hand on his face. The older drake gently pulled his face up to look at him. The two stared at each. . again I surprised myself with the coldness. It didn’t matter, I had three months until my first day at the law firm that I had worked my ass off to get into. But I had three months until then. . . what to do. Surprisingly enough I had kind of missed certain aspects of escorting or whoring myself out, as my now ex would have said. Just before I called it quits I had a handful of regular clients. Having regulars had kept me from having to stretch myself to thin between them. I had been a paid. Even if you are secretly laughing at me, I’ve been warned before that I am not truly happy with the one who loves me. I am safer in this world to stay with him, though. The logical thought that I am wrong about the things I feel for you interferes with my desire to take a leap of faith. Faith in true love. Faith in a loving God. Faith that as I have wished – that we would someday meet again, and that we would one day become one, again – you have also wished… I can remember the way you soothed.
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